The Mysterious Door…

Year 5, your writing has been impressing me so much it needs to be displayed on the blog! Your homework for this week is to write a story about the picture below. It’s mysterious and magical, so I thought you’d like it!

Story starter!

On a quiet day, you can sometimes hear them. Every now and then, there’s be a tapping or a scraping or a rustling from behind the door. Occasionally (if you’re patient enough to sit for the whole day and watch), movement can be glimpsed through the dark windows. Once, just once, the faint sound of whispering in hushed tones was heard.

The boy had spent his entire summer holidays wishing for something to emerge from the mysterious door. He had spent yet another sunny morning hiding in the tall grass at the bottom of his garden just staring at the door, hoping to catch a glimpse of something or someone extraordinary.

The moment he had been waiting for had finally arrived…The door began to slowly creak open…

As always, you should challenge yourself with your writing. (Think about what you’d put on a Bingo sheet!) 

  • Include parenthesis
  • Include relative clauses
  • Include fronted adverbials
  • Include ambitious vocabulary
  • Include dialogue (inner dialogue too perhaps)
  • Include a variety of Alan Peat sentences.

Good luck Year 5, I’m excited to read your stories!

35 Comments

  1. A wrinkly figure stood in the window longingly staring out in the distance. Who was he? I had waited all summer he can’t fail me now. It was like he was trapped in a trance, waiting, hoping,watching. His wrinkles spoke years of truth but I could see that he was afraid. The crumbly desolate shelter shook every few seconds…creeaaaak…… the door opened. A tiny blue figure strolled out looking in a mirror,: “what is it and why is it so self-absorbed”. I edged closer and closer and asked “who are you?” the tiny blue figure replied:”

  2. : “I am the King of jewelington. The more I stared, the more I questioned. BANG! Someone’s coming! Who is it…

  3. A figure with wrinkles that spoke of years of darkness emerged from inside the ancient, crumbling and dusky shelter. What was it? Urging towards me, the mysterious creature began to chant in a murmur. “One day we would escape. One day we would conquer. One day we would meet the humans.” The strange thing noticed me and stopped chanting. I froze. It had eyes that drooped, skin the colour of the sea, it was a dwarf. “H-h-h-hi” I stuttered “I’m Emma, who are you?”
    “Eh? Oh hello. I’m King LongNose, leader of the Imps. A long time we have been awaiting you. I say would you be able to come to my village and meet my citizens?”
    “Erm, well I need to be home before five. But sure!” I replied. All summer I had longed for this moment to come, and now it was happening. My grandfather has always told me legends about these creatures since I was young.
    My legs wanted to run but my heart knew I must follow.

  4. Behind this mysterious door you will find peter pan. This rock house belongs to peter pan and his three jolly men. Peter pan is always playing tricks on his three jolly men and sneaking out and taking strange kids to Neverland.

  5. WHAT! The door opened…the moment the boy had been waiting for had finally happened. Just then the door started to creak shut. The boy stuffed his hand in through the door to stop it closing. Something or someone had bitten his hand. OUCH! He tried to take his hand out but it was stuck. Luckily, he had some slime in his bag. He pulled it out and put it around his stuck hand and pulled it out. OUCH! As he looked at his hand he saw bite marks and noticed they were from human teeth! It was not a something, it was a someone. He looked closer at his hand and rubbed his eyes. On his fingertip was a very, very, small person. He was wearing a tiny winter hat, a white shirt with red braces, and baggy brown trousers.

    What or Who could it be?

  6. The boy had spent his entire summer holidays wishing for something to emerge from the mysterious door. He had spent yet another sunny morning hiding in the tall grass at the bottom of his garden just staring at the door, hoping to catch a glimpse of something or someone extraordinary.

    That day had finally arrived… the door began to slowly creak open. Then at that very moment appeared a tall, silhouetted figure, the boy ( whose name was called mickey) wanted to take a closer look but then he suddenly felt whirlwind pulling him in.Questions bounced off his head.
    Where was he? He wondered if he might be behind the doors of the mysterious door, but just as he was thinking that he realised that he was in a monsters cage and he was its dinner…..What was to come???!!

    • Wow Joy – this is excellent! Lots of imagery has been used to engage the reader.
      Challenge – spot where you have missed a piece of punctuation then explain why it’s needed.

      • He wondered if he might be behind the doors of the mysterious door, but just as he was thinking that he realised that he was in a monsters cage and he was its dinner… What was to come?

        With its correction – He wondered if he might be behind the doors of the mysterious door,but just as he was thinking that, he realised that he was in a monsters cage and he was its dinner… What was to come?

        It’s needed because it doesn’t make sense and when the reader is reading it they need to breathe.

  7. As she skipped along the stony, hard floor, barefooted, all of a sudden, she stopped. She always came across a door, a door full of moss and stone. It was like it called her name every time she walked out of her house. On the door she noticed that there was a letter box. “Aha, so someone lives here,” she thought to herself,” but who?” Should she knock on the door?

    Yes! She knocked, she knocked and then she waited. ” Will anybody answer? When will they answer? Who will it be?”
    These questions cascaded around her mind, until the door slowly and steadily creaked open. ” Who is it?” a booming voice answered. She looked at the creature answering the door. It had a long, pointy nose and red eyes that you could not trust.The creature had a black cloak around it hiding all of its secrets. She peered down and she saw it had no feet but just legs floating creepily in the air. She screamed in fear and ran away. Never again would she leave
    the house without her parents, never again will she go to that door that changed her life, never again will she knock…..

  8. From a distance the girl spotted an old rusty and antique door which stood out amidst the overpowering trees. The girl stealthily walked towards it and then came to a stop and stared at the door. Suddenly, she grasped the door in eager to find out what mysteries lay behind it. Dust flew onto the girl like a sworn of flies attacking her. The door the began to slowly open by its own will. The girl entered inside and saw a small silhouette figure in the distance, it smiled and the door shut behind her. She was surrounded by darkness and there was no way out!

    • Brilliant effort Meghan – good girl! I had a brilliant image in my mind when you described the dust looking like a swarm of flies.
      Challenge – spot where you need a comma in the first sentence. Why do you need to insert one?

  9. The boy gasped in excitement as he saw the petite cottage door creak open, a seed of curiosity cautiously began to bloom within him. He giggled in desperation as images popped up in his head. The more he thought about it, the more he wanted to explode with happiness. There it was… A minuscule lady women came out. She was in a navy blue gown embroidered with gold. Outside the boy was astonished to see something so tiny (Inside he was wondering what she was doing dressed up in such wealth) As fast as he could, he attempted to get a closer look at the woman. The lady was startled and alarmed and tried to sprint away back to the stone cottage. In a gentle voice, the boy whispered ” Don’t be frightened I won’t hurt you.”
    The lady, who had calmed down, welcomed him in her cottage. She made him nettle tea (that was scrumptious) and made fairy cupcakes. She explained the reason she was wearing such fancy clothes was because she was going to a party. It turned out the lady was unbelievably caring and kind.

  10. Behind the mysterious door stood a unusual, creepy girl. She didn’t look like any ordinary girl. The girl didn’t have a name. The girl had oddly green hair. She had red eyes. The girl had tiny lips. The girl looked more like a dwarf and she was. The boy was so surprised. The boy was thinking “How did this dwarf come in this world?”

    • Good effort Evana. Very spooky!
      Challenge – insert a fronted adverbial with ambitious vocabulary so that your sentence openers are varied.

  11. BANG!!! WOOSH!!! THUMP!!! I was teleported to a magical, majestic, mysterious wonderland. I turn my back intensely.. I was trapped the door slammed shut. A spark of magic, a sprinkle of dust,a flash of sparkling gold, my eyes were layed upon a dancing, dazzling leprechaun. Maybe I could find a pot of gold, I thought! Or NO can i. ” Come on Alannah pull your self together, remember what your wishing for , a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow,” I wondered to myself. Before, I could blink my eyes were full of raining gold and emerald-green leprechaun’s .. Never stop believing, that is what my story had to tell.

  12. Cautiously, he was trembling through the rocks, he stumbles into his wooden, modden-like door, he seemed exultant! With electric-blue skin and pearl-white clothes and hat. It seemed like a… smurf! It stared from his window into my eyes, face to face.

    It stared at me and I stared back! My legs are eager to run but my heart is taking its time and slowly making its way. What is it doing! I thought, as the smurf was cautiously standing outside its home I was eager to find out. I edged myself forward. As it came closer and closer towards, then… it vanished like nothing happened?! No one has ever saw his face again! But you never know. What could happen next…?

  13. Nervously,she tapped on the door. Creek! It mysteriously opened. Who was in there? Were they even a person? She lay her hands on the bumpy cobblestone walls.It was time to explore this peculiar building.

    Cautiously, she knocked on the door of the ancient building. The thunder in the the skies sounded like charging rhinos.
    “Hello.” whispered an echoing voice.
    “Who’s there.” she shouted. Nobody replied. She rapidly ran to try and escape this prison of a place.
    “Now you are my prisoner forever!” it cackled in a evil voice. What could happen next…

  14. The moment he had been waiting for had finally arrived…The door began to slowly creak open… It revealed an ancient man; whose wrinkles had stories to tell, whose heart was that of a lion, whose eyes twinkled with mischief… This particular mischief would pounce like a panther into the arms of this mysterious boy, however, this was the problem… His life could soon become a living hell.

    While he was lost in his thoughts and trying to escape those of terrible possibilities, a stony hand clasped his mouth shut from behind, stopping him from shouting or screaming for help. A raucous voice grabbed his ears and threw him to the ground. This voice was the voice of a man… A man who wanted to kill him…

  15. On a silent day, in mid October, there stayed an old shattered hut in the middle of nowhere. The door never moved a muscle. If you were that patient to watch a mysterious door old day it wasn’t really worth it these days. Someone who was patient was a boy that lived in the house next to the hut. He called the door his shed, but it wasn’t really a shed. When the boy looked through the glass-less window, the room was filled with darkness and there wasn’t a colour except black. All day long he stared at the fascinating door until…The door started to slowly approach the boys face as it opened. A seed of exciting grew within him. Heart pounding, palms sweating, legs buckling the boy entered the gloomy shed. The wall were covered in cob webs,”CREAK” The floor sounded as the tumbling room would fall to the ground but at that moment something grabbed him on the shoulder. What could it be?…

    The moment the boy turned around he saw a figure with a black coat and red tie. The boy brace boy questioned,”Who..are..you.”. But then the figure didn’t answer at that moment, the boy blinked and the figure was gone. In a single heartbeat the boy had left the eerie burrow

  16. An elderly, unordinary man with a wrinkly face, bony cheeks and blood-red eyes peered through the windows. Who was he? The man’s eyes darted around the area until it saw him. Mystified, perplexed, traumatized, the boy struggled to speak because of the chill that was scurrying down his spine. “Who…who…who are you?” stammered the petrified boy. His heart thumped like a drum beating to the rhythm of his heart. “Come in boy…”
    His terrorizing voice echoed around the forest. My mind was a huge tornado of questions that wouldn’t stop until I made my choice. The boy’s heart kept on telling him to run away and never come back but the mystery of the mystical stranger persuaded him to go inside of his badly protected house. “Alright.” He reluctantly agreed. What was in the stone house?

  17. Slowly, silently, the girl walked among the dark dusty woods. The trees creepily stood there, staring at the adventurous girl. Its branches were like twisted hands, trying to grab the girl. The forest ground was full of squelchy mud and only a bit of grass sprouted here and there. That girl didn’t know anything that was in store for her. Suddenly, something caught the corner of her eye… it was a door, a very minuture, seemingly insignificant door. It was was standing there, nestled in between some colossal, white pebbles. What was beyond that door? She had to explore. Wouldn’t you?

    At once, she opened the door. Amazed, astonished, and stunned, the girl gazed at the wondrous place. Desperately, she hopped outside, beyond the door. Lucious green grass surrounded her. The sensational sunny sight hitmatised the girl and grabbed her towards it. Unfortunately, the girl had to go home, but when she turned around, nothing was there! The door had vanished! How would the girl get home?!

  18. A dark ,small ,figure stood in the center of the doorway . I looked closer and to my amazement,saw that he wasnt the same colour as me .He was Blue ! He waved me to go over to him . I knew that i shouldnt go to strangers but ,he was Blue and so small i didnt feel scared and curiosity had hold of me . As i carefully approached him i noticed a girl who was also blue and a little bit smaller than me . She was holding a golden goblet full of rainbow water . It was such a hot day i was really thirsty and the water looked so clean i had to have a taste . The girl said ”are you thirsty my dear” i nodded and she held out the goblet . I didnt hesitate and drank all the water in one gulp . “Nice my dear” said the man “yes”i replied feeling so alive and refreshed .. wait for it said the girl . ”Wait for what” he replied . They both started to laugh and cackle in such a high pitch it hurt my ears . I fell to the floor feeling dizzy . I put my hands on my head and to my horror my hands were blue,my arms were blue and my face was blue . I WAS BLUE!! The man and girl laughed and said “just what we wanted a blue daughter”…”NO NO” i cried .my head felt dizzy “DAAAAAAD HELP ME” I yelled “Grace grace wake up your having a nightmare.” I was petrafied!

  19. This moment would decide my fate forever… what is behind this door? Nervous and excited, frightened and eager, I heard a loud creak at the door.
    “WHO DISTURBS MY POTION BREWING?” bellowed the witch that was in fact so hideous, that I felt a burning sensation in my eyes looking at it… is this a dream? Is it friendly? I got the answer when something rather peculiar happened as the outraged witch was going to punish me… all of a sudden, I woke up from my cosy bed… this could not have been a dream… it felt too real!

  20. The door began to slowly creak open…I could taste the sweat dripping from my forehead as I gulped terrifyingly. My head started to race faster and faster as suddenly… BANG. The door swung fully open. There it was a small colourful gnome.

  21. There it was. A brown, slim, petite door. I would spend hours staring at the door , wondering what was inside it. what was it doing there? why was it there? who was inside it?
    One sunny day, i was reading my book, guarding the door, when i heard something…a whisper! Was it coming from behind the door? “No! Of course it isn’t!” I thought quietly to myself. “What if it was fairies? Elves? Dwarves? I should peek inside to check if anything is there!” Nervous, i crouched down next to the door and reached for it with my hand. Bang….bang. It wouldn’t move. I frowned. i sat down on the green grass,”Why wouldn’t it move? i heard something inside! What is on the other side!”i mumbled to myself. I was staring into the distant hoping i could open the door.
    Just then i saw something shiny in the corner. I stood up and followed the light. I was searching in the bush, “Where is it?It needs to be here!” I thought angrily. I kicked some rocks…there it was. A metal, clinking noise came out of nowhere. It was somewhere in the rocks. I searched through the rocks. There it was gleaming at me. A small, shiny key. i grabbed it and ran back to the door.
    In put the key inside the lock…click…there it had been done! The door was opened! Inside i was filled with joy and happiness yet i was was scared and nervous!
    At first it was dark inside. There was no sound…click…i closed my eyes. I was frightened that something will grab me. I opened my eyes. There was vibrant, bright light. Then, a wave of music came. Chattering, laughing, dancing: there were dwarves, elves and fairies altogether…

  22. The baffling,peplexing fog swirled away revealing a damp,dense door. i edged nearing while metal churned and clanked from deep inside the battered door. Age had torn it apart. With a stupendous effort, i heaved my self upon the thick, jagged rocks. i knew i was putting myself in a mortal risk. Darknesss issued from the tumble-down windows…What was in there? The hand of suspicion pounced on me creating a waterfall of sweat. It had 5to be now or never. Either i run back into my war-driven country or i seek refuge here. My mind was racing what would do? Questions overwhelmed me as i tried to answer them all. The door was waiting for me to stuff in the key. My eyes searched for answer. How i wish my father was right here now. Suddenly, a feeble, meager tree came into my view, there lying in front of it was a solid,dingy key. As though it had cast a spell upon me, i stretched out my worn-out hand and grabbed it. i stuffed it into the keyhole. Without warning a wispy, decripit hand grabbed me.

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