Year 3 Sentence Challenge – A Winter’s story

Story starter!

It was winter.

The thunder rumbling overhead seemed to taunt the young girl as she watched in horror while half of her home drifted away across the merciless, half-frozen sea. She had awoken minutes earlier, disturbed from her sleep by the most appalling noise. It sounded as if a tree were being torn apart by giants, as if the Gods above were screaming at each other in a wild rage.

She thought it was the end of the world. Perhaps it was. For her anyway.

In only her pyjamas, she stood on the edge of her ruined home, her toes dangling over the edge of the splintered floor, shivering in the harsh wind as it seemed to touch her skin like the kiss of some icy demon. She screamed at the top of her voice in despair and frustration, almost pleading with her frost-drenched surroundings to bring them back to her. She could see them. They were waving and shouting to her in return. In front of her she could see the giant, drifting shards of ice, their edges sharp like Samurai swords. They knocked into each other as they were swept by the tide, reminding her of some cruel jigsaw that couldn’t be solved. She knew she could not reach them…

Sentence challenge!

Metaphors and Similes are fantastic ways of vividly describing things to the reader.

Can you find any in the writing above?

Create some of your own too!

Don’t forget to add a positive comment on someone else’s work too!

􀀀 Image by: Pobble365.com

20 Comments

  1. A metaphor in the story is ‘The waves reminded her of a cruel jigsaw that couldn’t be solved’. Smilies in the story are ”Their edges sharp like samurai swords’ and ‘to touch her skin like the kiss of some icy demon’. My metaphor is ‘I was so nervous my legs turned to jelly’. My similes are ‘the thorns touched her like the edge of bladed swords’ and ‘the woodpecker pecked at the tree as if it was a road drill’.

  2. I like your metaphor and similes Matthew. My simile is ‘She was so shy like a mouse.’ My metaphor is ‘Her hair cascaded down her back like a waterfall.’

  3. The metaphor I found in the story is, ” The waves reminded her of a cruel jigsaw that couldn’t be solved.” The similes are, ” It sounded as if a tree were being torn apart by giants, as if the gods above were screaming at each other in a wild rage.”
    My metaphors are, ” He was so tall, he was a mountain of a man.” and “My mum asked who did it, my lips were sealed.”
    My similes are, “The defender was like a machine.” and “The basketball player was as tall as Big Ben.”

  4. The metaphors I found in the text: like the kiss of some icy demon. The waves reminded her of a cruel jigsaw that couldn’t be solved. Similes:the edges are sharp like samurai swords. Torn apart by giants as if the gods above were screaming at each other in a wild range.

  5. A metaphor in the story is ” The waves reminded her of a jigsaw puzzle that couldn’t be solved.” A simile in this story is ” As if the Gods above were screaming at each other in a wild range.” There is also ” edges sharp like samurai swords.” My metephor is ” My daddy said I’m the apple of his eye” and “The princess had a broken heart.” My simile is “The ocean floor is as dark as an ancient cave” and “Her lips was red as a ruby.” and” I run as fast as a cheetah.”

  6. I found the similes and metaphors too.My metaphor examples are ‘The snow is a white blanket’, and ‘He is a night owl’. My similes examples are ‘As big as an elephant’, and ‘As brave as a lion’. I really like your examples Matthew.

  7. The simile which I found is: ” their edges sharp like Samurai swords” and ” as if a tree were being torn apart by giants, as if the Gods above were screaming at each other in a wild rage”.
    The metaphor which I found is:”of some cruel jigsaw that couldn’t be solved”.

    My simile is: Again the thunder rolled. It sounded like a fierce dragon.
    My metaphor is: Her heart was frozen ice.

  8. One word…WOW! Your new examples are magnificent! I can’t wait to see them in your writing. I am completely speechless and in awe of your amazing ideas! You’re my writing inspiration!

    My offerings:
    Eyes of stone glared menacingly.
    The rain pounded against the window like angry fists.
    Sunshine poured across the playground like a warming blanket.

  9. The one I found from the story: Touch her skin like an icy demon.

    Kades simile: The boy ran up the mountain as fast as a jaguar.

  10. The shocked girl saw the ice which looks like the edge of a samurais sword. The ships cracked and hit on ice as the thundering sky struck it.

  11. The ice crawled up like powers used by Wild Gods shouting and screaming at what had happend to land and the floor was like lightening

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