A Banquet with Year 4

You’ve been working hard to use expanded noun phrases and prepositional phrases all week! I have loved hearing your contribution.

Now it’s time to PUBLISH for the world to see.

Post your descriptions below in the comments sections. I can’t wait to read them.

67 Comments

  1. As I walked through the dark hall, I finally noticed an enormous banquet table! My eyes laid upon 7 layered cakes and all with a unique design on each layer. I caught sight of fresh saccharine donuts giving a mouth-watering aroma on a pure white silver plate. My favourite! Quickly, my eyes went as big as saucers when I saw glistening strawberries. Right in the centre of the table was a crimson wobbly jelly that looked like a towering mountain! Next to the jelly, was two icy, chocolate milkshakes with fluffy marshmallows on top with pale like straws! Creamy, velvet cupcakes were laid all around the table for everyone to enjoy. What a sight and what a feast!

    • A wonderful description Hannah. Some considered use of the devices we’ve talked about and good vocabulary choices. I really like your use of the simile and the concluding. Top tip for next time – double check your commas when using expanded noun phrases πŸ™‚

  2. I saw a large banquet table, and on it there are red, juicy cherries in a porcelain bowl. Before me rested two enormous, cheesy burgers that are as warm as an oven. Before my eyes,
    were brown, meaty sausages dipped in ketchup. They were in an unusual shaped container in the middle of the table. Next to the sausages laid six thin pieces of bacon all beautifully cooked and perfectly prepared on a plastic, white plate.Finally, I peered over to some roast potatoes, they were golden brown and look crunchy.

    • A fabulous description which really made me hungry Tilly! Well done.
      I like your use of noun phrases and the alliteration in ‘perfectly prepared’.
      Top tip for next time – check you write in the same tense. Past tense throughout i.e. there was πŸ™‚

  3. As I entered the room,I saw a big ginourmas Banqite table. On the table there was the most lavish food and drinks. With sparkling gold candles dazzling cutlery and silk table cloths. I stood in awe at the glorious sight before me.

    • Hi Maia,

      Well done for publishing your piece. I love your use of the words’dazzling’ and ‘glorious’!
      Top tip for next time – check that capital letters are used for proper nouns and openers only πŸ™‚

  4. There, right in front of me, was an enormous banquet table. On the table, were juicy, crimson strawberries and tall glasses of foamy drinks, so foamy in fact that it looked like a piece of a cloud. In the center of the table, was a 5 layered cake covered in chocolate buttercream and cherries! Surrounding the cake, stood 10 red velvet cupcakes each one with a different topping. Beside the cutlery, stood a giant roast chicken. On the porcelain plates, stood warm raspberry pie topped with white, whipped cream. Beside every chair, a sparkling candle glowed as bright as a star.

    • Hi Hayley,
      A terrific description. I love your use of commas for clauses and the pair that you used to include extra information in the first sentence!
      Top tip for next time – use a combination of like and as similes alongside alliteration to really engage the reader πŸ™‚

  5. The banquet table rested with a huge feast laid out. There was sizzling pizza waiting on the sliver plates. crunchy carrot sticks rested to be dipped into lumpy but smooth humous.at the start of the table there was a chocolate fountain with red velvet strawberries. Stood in the middle of the table there was a six layered creamy strawberry
    cake and sweet juicy fruit juice.

    • Hi Sophia,
      A lovely description – well done. I like your choice of the verb ‘sizzling’ in particular!
      Top tip for next time – Check that your verbs make sense in the first sentence. Perhaps swap out the word ‘rested’ with an alternative πŸ™‚

  6. There in front me,I saw a colossal table overflowing with vanilla milkshakes near every plate. On each plate stood a succulent, roasted chicken which sat proudly in the sides of the table. An appetising 8 layered cake stood centrally for everybody to see. The tikkka masala surrounded the cake like guards and soldiers protecting a king. On the right side of the table, stood 10 pies which were steaming and gave out a delicious smell. On the left side of the table, were several chocolate chip cookies and healthy yet extremely sweet strawberries and raspberries which were as sweet as sugar. Whilst I was eating, I saw a building that looked like a synagogue. I wanted to go in however the doors were locked. Will you join my feast?

    • Skillful use of similes and alliteration Daniel. Well done!
      Top tip for next time – What is missing from your first sentence? We use them to add extra information? πŸ™‚

  7. There,I front of me,I saw an enormous banquet table.On the table I saw a batch of chocolate cake,chilling across the table.I also see a scrumptious roast dinner shouting out at me in the distance.Then in front of me I see a nice hot cup of tea steaming among some chocolate biscuits.Some more food on this banquet table there was a delicious cheesburger sitting on the glistening metal plate.Last pease of food there was three juicy apples resting on the fruit bowl.

    • Wonderful use of the words scrumptious and glistening! You’ve made me hungry.
      You crafted this carefully and used prepositions well.
      Top tip for next time – check spellings of homophones i.e. pieces πŸ™‚

  8. In front of me, I saw a colossal banquet table.On the banquet table, I spied a three layered cake, covered in chocolate
    icing.Also I spotted some steaming hot pies.Next to the pies,was a succulent,roast chicken sitting temptingly on a silver plate.On the table,there was some fruit that was succulent.There were bananas,kiwi,fresh strawberries and oranges.Carefully,the chocolate icing was shimmering on the cake.

    • Well done Freya. You have used prepositional phrases confidently!
      Top tip for next time – try not to repeat the same openers too often. You’ve used one twice – can you spot it? πŸ™‚

  9. Beside the golden, juicy chicken stood a milkshake as cold as the snow. Closely a delicious, sweet, colourful ice-cream ran sweetly down a crystal desert glass. Towering over some beautiful, crimson strawberries that were sat on a golden plate, stood a gigantic, juicy burger that was as tall as a tower. Dazzling, beside a jug of sparkling, ice cold water lay a scarlet, shiny apple that shone like the sun. Proudly sat in the centre of the table, sat a sticky, runny, chocolate fudge cake that looked like a delicious chocolate, flowing water fall.

    • What a fantastic opening sentence! I love how you’ve included a simile, expanded noun phrase and prepositional phrase in the opening sentence! Wonderfully crafted Archie. Well done.
      Top tip for next time – start to include alliteration to engage your reader even more πŸ™‚

  10. There, Infront of me I saw an enormous banquet table.On the table, I saw bowls of roast chicken, slices of pizza roles .

    There infront of me, i Saw an enormous banquet table.On the table, I saw an ice cold lemonade condansating on the table in the warm house.

  11. There,in front of me ,I saw an enormous banquet table.On the table I saw bitesize chunks of cheese scattered across the centre of the table. Pieces of chocolate lay temptingly in a silver round bowl, the creamy hot chocolate in a porcelain bug. An enormous, Juicy chicken rested on a silver platter. Hot, buttery crumpets lay silently on a golden plate on glittering brightness on the sun bright as the sun. At the far end of the table, tiny strings of noodles dangled from each corner.

    • Well done Nathaniel and Daron. Great use of expanded noun phrases! I like the one about the crumpets πŸ™‚
      Top tip for next time – check your letter formation! There is a capital J lurking in one of your sentences. Can you spot it?

  12. There in front of me, I saw an enormous banquet table. A chandelier hung above the table like a mini sun. On the table I saw bitesize chunks of cheese scattered across the centre of table. Pieces of chocolate lay temptingly in a silver, round bowl, next to creamy hot chocolate in a porcalean mug. An enormous, Juicy chicken rested on a silver platter. Hot, buttery crumpets lay silently on a golden plate that glistened as bright as the sun. At the far end of the table, tiny strings of noodles dangled from each corner of the table. Silently, the brownies lay on a porcelain plate, waiting to be eaten.

  13. Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a huge table. It had millions of delicious looking pretzels at the front of the banquet. I saw tempting tacos with hot sauce. Thousands of burritos in the middle that I couldn’t resist eating. There was a gigantic chicken that smelt so good I could swallow the whole thing in one! There was a hot chocolate that was so hot that it looked like molten lava! And then I noticed, at the end of the table was a 10 layered cake with melted chocolate and strawberries on top. The cake was so sweet I could eat it in 3 seconds.

    • I love the alliteration ‘tempting tacos’ in your description! I also spotted a simile too – well done.
      Top tip for next time – Avoid starting sentences with ‘and’. Try an adverb instead. Have a go below if you would like πŸ™‚

  14. There,infront of me, I saw an enormous banquet table.On the table,I saw two squishy peanut butter crumpets waiting below my drooling mouth.

    There,infront of me, I saw an enormous table.On the table I saw hazelnut coffee with a sliet sweet seasoning next to a golden spoon

  15. There, in front of me, I saw a giant table filled with amazing food, deserts ,drinks and more! There was a burning mint hot chocolate with delicious cream. It was carefully topped with a generous sprinkle of cinnamon as smooth as snow. Fluffy, buttered pancakes gleamed brightly stacked on a silver porcelain plate. (For sensebile children to go crazy!) A creamy, hot decafe pumpkin spice latte sitting on a small coaster at the side of the table. Scrumptious, soft cookie dough quietly cooled in the centre of the table temptingly. An appetising cheesy margerita pizza cut into triangular slices stood on a smooth sheet of plastic.

    • Skillful use of similes and adventurous adjectives! Well done!

      Top tip for next time – Check your commas in expanded noun phrases πŸ™‚

  16. There, right in front of me, I saw a gigantic banquet table. The table was nearly over-flowing with temping,glorious food! Pots of delicate, chocolate wafers are positioned in the centre of the table. Chicken tikka masala bowls rest alongside soft, fluffy rice.Next to the steaming curries, I spied a silver platter ladened with luscious chicken noodles.An appatising lasuge bubbles gently at the right side of the table, on the crimson table cloth. A mouth-watering , creamy, chocolate cake sits proudly at the head of the banquet table itself

    • Wonderful use of prepositional phrases and noun phrases boys!
      Top tip for next time – don’t forget to add your simile! πŸ™‚

  17. Right there, I saw with my own two eyes was a monstrous table with food overflowing! On the banquet table was tacos, coconut pieces, roasted boiling carrots, plump, jucy oranges and steaming lasagna. Under a cloch was a ten layered buttercream, strawberry cake with a strawberry milkshake. On the table was a creamy, vanilla milkshake. In the middle of the table was an ice statue of an horse on top of two dogs, two chickens and one cat. On top of the banquet table was a gleaming chandler lighting the banquet table like a ruby gleaming in the sunlight.

  18. There in front of me,I saw a gigantic,banquet table.The table is nearly over-flowing with tempting glorious food!Pots of chocolate wafers are positioned as a centre piece of the table.Chicken tikka masala bowls rest along-side soft,fluffy rice. Next to the curries,I spied a silver platter ladened with luscious, chicken noodles! An appertising lasagne bubbles gently at the right side of the table, on a crimson table cloth. Proudly, the chocolate cake rested on the bright, white porcelain plate.

  19. Banquet on the table there, was storberry cake that had two bars fo choclat. On the table there was worm hot choclat that had marshmallows and sprinkles. Also there was vegetables that looked way better than my vegetables I have. The fruit was amazing the fruit tasted so sweet it tasted like the sun. And finally there was a massive plat that was a banquet plat and it was made out of gold in the plat was fish fingers that looked wonderful my tummy was rumbling I had to make a decision shall I eat it or not?

    • Hello Benedict! Thank you so much for posting your writing on here. It’s great to hear your voice and your description made me hungry! I like your simile about the sun too πŸ™‚
      Top tip – read your work aloud and check to see if you’ve missed out any important words. Would you change the first sentence at all if you read it aloud?

  20. One evening, in front of me, there was a enormous banquet table. On the table thee were enormous, steaming chicken and next to, it there was a rainbow, sweet cake as fluffy as the clouds. There were fresh, gleaming strawberries and tiny, rainbow macaroons in the middle of the table. On a porcelain plate, lay tiny, fluffy marshmallows as tiny as a drip of snow. Also, in the porcelain bowls, was chunks of chees and hot, butter crumpets that when you smelled it your mouth would water.

    • Hi Savion,

      Well done for crafting a description with noun phrases and prepositions. I particularly like your simile to describe the cake.
      Top tip for next time – Check that your openers make sense in context. Have a look at your use of ‘One evening’ in your first sentence. Does this fit your description or would it be better in a story? What could you use instead? πŸ™‚

  21. There in front of me, I saw an enormous banquet, on the table I saw a silver plate with my favourite fruit, strawberry, watermelon and mango. On the middle of the table I saw a silver plate , glass of juice and slush. On banquet table I see lots of food and fruit;
    Roast chicken on a large white tray,
    Strawberry rainbow cake and brown chocolate muffins.

    • Hi Lily,
      What a fabulous description! Well done. I can see that you have worked hard to check your use of capital letters as I asked you to πŸ™‚
      Top tip for next time – check that you start sentences with an opener i.e. I can see a roast chicken.

  22. Right in the centre of the shiny wooden table was laid a cake with 7 layers that had soft blue icing on each layer with wiped cream between each of them with a big, juicy cherry on top. There were tropical juice drinks laid all around with strawberry cupcakes and slices of steaming pies. There were sweet treats and appetising drinks. But there was something that had caught my eye as it glimmered right on the edge of the table. It was a simply gorgeous drink! It had so many flavour fit into that one cup, there were flavours of strawberry, blueberry, raspberry! Even blackberry! My mouth watered at the sight of this succulent drink. Everything on this table was very appetizing… BUT the flavourful drink stood out the most. I had stared at it for so long that I had not realized there were other food to try!

    • Hi Joanna,

      Well done – you’ve written a description which made me very hungry! You’ve described the foods using ambitious adjectives and prepositional phrases.
      Top tip for next time – watch out for your use of commas in each and every expanded noun phrase, use them to separate the adjectives πŸ™‚

  23. In the middle of the table, there laid a delicious, tasty roast chicken sitting proudly on an silver plate. In the edge of the table, rested a creamy, shimmering cake on a diamond plate. Near it, were appetizing drinks, such as milkshakes, juice and coffee. Surprisingly, the flowers’ scent surrounded the table filled with enjoyable, succulent foods and fluids.

    • Hi Dwayne,
      Thanks for posting your description. It was great to read here! Good use of expanded noun phrases and interesting adjectives. Well done.
      Top Tip – Check your use of the preposition i.e. On the table rather than in the table. In means inside something πŸ™‚

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