In our Y3 Teams meeting today we crafted sentences using the writer’s techniques we know, to improve and paint a better picture with words!
Cat on a Wall
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In our Y3 Teams meeting today we crafted sentences using the writer’s techniques we know, to improve and paint a better picture with words!
Copyright © 2020 | WordPress Theme by MH Themes
Here’s some from our key worker group….
Freya’s
The curious cat ran along the wall, although he was nervous because he may fall!
Freya, a great sentence, I like that you used alliteration with your adjective 🙂 What adjective could you put in front of ‘wall’?
Here’s Chace’s…
The swift cat ran excitedly along the dusty wall because a mouse was in the street!
A great sentence Chace! You’ve used adjectives, an adverb and a conjunction, well done 🙂
Nathaniel…
The busy cat ran along the blue wall although he nearly fell!
Good work Nathaniel – I like your choice of ‘busy’. 🙂
Where would you put an adverb to describe how he ran along the wall? Which adverb would you use?
Chloe…
The purring cat ran along the brick wall whilst the neighbour’s dog barked!
A good use of the conjunction ‘whilst’ Chloe 🙂
Where you you put an adverb? What adverb would work best to describe a frightened cat running from a dog?
The fluffy cat ran violently along the crumbling, red brick wall, like a panther but almost slipped off the edge!
🙂 A strong adverb Leo – does it work with a ‘fluffy cat’ that moves like a panther?
I would also swap ‘but’ for ‘until he’.
I love the expanded noun phrase – a strong image for the wall.:)
Have a think, what image do you want to paint for the reader of the cat?
Sleepily the cat ran along the old wall although he was scared of heights roaring like the sea.
A good use of the conjunction ‘although’ Daniel. 🙂 I like the simile but it’s not clear what is roaring. Is it the sleepy cat?
The stealthy cat ran as fast as a lightning along the gritty wall while hissing at the barking dog.
Great work Hayley, I love that you included a simile too that replaces the need for an adverb! 🙂
Carelessly, the bumpy cat scratched the wall, with it’s beady claws even though it was scared of heights.
An interesting use of beady Shaun. We tend to say ‘beady eyes’ as beads are round like eyes. Can you think of a better adjective for claws? (or talons?) 🙂
The miniature cat jogged along the rough wall dozily because he had played too long with the crazy dog.
Finley, you always manage to capture quirky images – I think ‘jogged’ is a great verb to describe the cat moving. I’d love to know more about the crazy dog and the miniature cat!
The ginger cat carefully walked on the large stone wall as it jumped with fear as the dog was back.
Well written Hannah, but be careful to ensure it makes sense. The cat can’t be walking carefully at the same time as jumping with fear. Perhaps use the ‘as’ with something about the dog yapping below?
The black cat ran speedily along the white wall because he was scared of the dog on the floor.
A good reason for the cat to run speedily Alex 🙂 Well done.