The Greatest Show: The Birth of the Circus!

YEAR 6 HWK Wednesday 30th January – Due Thursday 31st January

Watch this video of the beginning of ‘The Greatest Showman’! It will show the first 20 seconds at normal speed, then slowed down.

  • Use this video to create your BEST WORD / PHRASE / SENTENCE BANK yet! Complete the frame given in class. Fill it so that you have lots of ideas to use when we write in class on Thursday!
  • You must focus on Setting / Atmosphere; Feelings; Action. Use your FIVE SENSES (touch, sight smell, taste and sound) to do this.
  • Use third person (He, they, she, it) and PAST tense.
  • Write for the reader…let them see it, smell it, feel it, hear it…take them there! Show them…paint the video in words!
  • And remember! Re-read EVERY word / phrase / sentence the moment you’ve written it, checking for grammar and sophistication. Third choice options only!

FINISHED?

Add your three greatest ideas to a comment box below. Share your writing expertise!

Still have time for something else? Comment on someone else’s slow writing:

One:  Say something positive  “I really like how you have tried to use some powerful verbs in your writing. It helps bring it to life.”

Two:  Ask a question  By asking a question, you are encouraging a reply and you are engaging the author. “Your writing makes me think that you may have read some Michael Morpurgo books. Which story inspired you to write this?

Three:  Suggest an improvement  “To make this even better, you could change the way you opened the final sentence. Can you think of an adverb that would work? Leave a comment with some ideas.”

25 Comments

  1. The sky was filled with sinister, thick black clouds looming over the desert waiting … watching. Darkness filled the plain, it made any by-standers feel dull. The sky was looking down at the golden, baige sand. Slowly, a tornado formed. Half of the tornado ascended from the sand, the other half descended from the sky. Twisting, the tornado spun like a spiral staircase. A ramshackle barn stood still. The ‘twister’ crushed the barn, metal and wood flew everywhere … vertically and horizontally. Clang and crashes echoed through the desert – snapping and splintering, the wood tore apart. Higher and higher, the tornado sucked up all the sand that was in its way and then spat all the wood and metal out. The wood stayed there. The tornado did not.

  2. The tornado emerged from the dull, thick grey sky. A anxious roar of pain whispered through the desert. The tornado was about to meet its first victim, a old, wooden barn stood in the mist of the tornado. The wind howled like a gust of wind around the house, as the tornado grew and grew it spreaded with the other half of the wind. Sliding across to its first victim. The tornado hissed that there was going to be danger and an attack, the vast tornado danced around like a brides maid dress, the crash of metal crumbled through in the desert wood broke in half as if it had been cut within 5 seconds. The tornado sucked up the barn with all its strength and might…where will the tornado will be Venturing to next?

  3. The furious clouds enveloped the barren, tranquil desert, concealing it selflessly from the view. Smooth microscopic sand layed across the frequently-destroyed desert: as if they were attacked by asteroids. There was an absence of sunlight, resulting in an atmosphere of doom, which spread across the vast open plain. Two magnetic clouds emerged together as if two fists were battling in the ultimate conflict. What would happen next? What would mother nature produce this time? Adrenaline… adrenaline was what engulfed the onlookers body.
    As the menacing tornado starts on its assault, it moves in a spiral of circular stairs. Moving with an aggressive it doubles its power strength: vacuuming all the sand creating a horrific’ sand-monster’.The more it grew from its foundation… the more of a human threat it became.

  4. There it was. The tornado gradually made its way towards the barn, feeling no empathy whatsoever. The deafening wind echoed like a horn and rattled the windows as the sound became louder and louder. Step by step, it finally had reached the unlucky building. With one small touch, the building was ripped apart. Wood spiralled around the colossal ‘giant’, it was useless: it had no chance of escaping. Fire flickered inside the tornado, trying to escape, yet it ended in the same situation as the wood. The wood struggled and howled in fits and starts, it wanted to end this ‘torture’. Higher and higher, the tornado gather more strength by sucking all the sand and the whole building beneath its feet. It moved majestically, wanting to make sure that every onlooker respected him. Fear… fear lingered through the onlookers feet to their very own soul. Finally, the tornado finished its work. Every block and piece fell to the ground. In a blink of an eye, it disappeared. It was ready for its next victim… but the question is… who will it be?

  5. the darkness reigned over the deserted biome. Dread…dread engulfed this atmosphere. Some people would believe it’s Mother Nature;others who have experienced and witnessed a tornado in their life. In the midst of this desert lies a eerie tornado. What have we done to deserve this? The tornado was like a funnel, extracting everything in its path… The tornado was like a slithering snake, no one knows where it will ‘pounce’ next. This will cause destruction for anything in its way…

  6. Dark, sinister clouds combineded together and blocked out the shimmering sunlight the vast open plain was dented-from past traumatic “scars”. Ascending and descending the tornadoes became magnetic together as one doubling in strength. The tornadoe for some reminded them of sweet luscious candy floss but the other onlookers realised the truth behind this “monster”. Imagine your house being devoured by a creature, imagine you belongings being extracted, imagine being terrified and running for your life thid tornado was travelling ready for it’s next victim. Like jaguar hunting a gazzel. Gravity… Gravity is all that stopped this cabin and tornado from colliding. Gravitating towards the cabin anything that stood in “his” way he soon destroyed BANG! Collision hit the two objects and a spit of fire blew out… Brown, wood,,paintent wood spiralled in the air onlookers eyes were drawn to the majestic but evil treated this “thing” portrayed smoke… Smoke whispered through the air all there was was a smell of smoke that meandered through the air

  7. Corrections:
    Trade instead of treated
    LAST SENTENCE: whispers of smoke meandered through the air…
    Paintent, brown wood

  8. Despite the brightness of the sunset behind the vast, there were only inky black clouds on the sky as the tornado drew closer and closer it started to form its funnel shape. Some places are unlucky as they experienced the harsh beatings of the tornado; others will one day see the truth of this ‘colossal giant’. The more sand it collected… the more strength the tornado gained. Fear…fear ran through the onlooker’s veynes, as they were petrified to see the dangers of what would happen.

  9. The clouds were sinister; they were about the experience something that you do not see everyday. The sand was scared from storms before. Light was nowhere to be seen in the midst…this desert laid in the middle of nowhere. The tornado was about to form together to become twice as powerful. The clouds descended towards the sandy desert. The sand spiraled up to the clouds coming together to form one.

    The clouds were now being sucked into the powerful storm. Twisting like a spiraling staircase, who knew what was awaiting? This vicious monster was going in any direction it wanted. Some onlookers were reminded of the fairground candy-floss; others watched in horror, knowing what was about to happen next was by-no-means pleasant!

    Barging its way through the desert; it crashed into a house. Metal upon metal crashed together; clanging sounds were heard from onlookers. Wood turned into splinters; splinters flew everywhere. Like they were almost being spat out as it was not needed anymore. The destruction lingered. The tornado did not.

  10. There it was. The tornado was getting ready: its first victim was about to be demolished. It was time. The wind screamed like a boiling kettle as it blustered around the house. The deafening wind echoed like a horn and rattled the windows as it wailed by. Tornado rushed through the house and chased the wood in circles. A desperate howl of pain echoed through the building. Some might run away from this terror; others might stay still until this terror passes. When you’re standing in the eye of a tornado. Swept a barn off its feet,got a tiny little barn flying until it started crying. The tornado picked the barn up like he’s got the way of the hurricane. The more the tornado eats… the more strength it received. The tornado…that’s what Dorothy was afraid of,the sneaky tornado. The tornado ate one barn… five more to go until it can rest. Who is its next victim? Will it be captured?

  11. The sky was dull and murky.The two parts of the tornado combined together like magnets not resisting the temptation of pulling together. The tornado “spiralled” and looked like a staircase…A staircase acceding to space! Some onlookers were reminded of luscious and sweet candy floss; however, others such as me see the truth behind this creature. It knocked down a wooden hut causing wood to fly in all difderent directions. As the tornado grew taller, the pieces of wood went with it. The tornado began to speed up taking “everything that was in its way” with it. The tornado kept on becoming stronger and stronger…

  12. The eerie, ghoulish, dark clouds loomed over the earth’s surface like a blanket of silken wool, waiting for something deleterious was about to happen. Waves of smooth sand dumes were scattered like scars from previous disasters. The wind ripped the clouds apart like a shredded veil, forming two funnels descending and ascending.Eventually the two funnels of sand met in a spirling force; doubling in strength and size. Dread…dread shivered up onlookers’s spines, as they rushed past on a volant plane.

    The ‘sand-monster’ stumbled upon an abandoned, ramshackle barn, tarring it apart: it was an explosion of wood and metal; screaming like a boiling kettle,the wind blustered mercilessly.

  13. Menacing, dangerous, ominous, an immense guillotine blade of lightning streaked across the horizon and illuminated the dark sinister sky.
    Thunder rumbled closer and closer, what would come next? A blinding light stabbed the ground, soon after a spinning vortex began to form tearing the night sky apart. Some people would think of this as a beautiful creation that God has sent upon us, others would think of this as a monster to devour any thing in its path like a lion devours it prey. It starts to edge closer and closer to the ground, then… then it was devouring it first victims.
    The debris left a lingering smell, the tornado how ever did not.

  14. Sinister, ominous, perilous – the stammering gusts of ferocious emotion circulated the atmosphere. Below the Earth’s surface, lay a deserted, vacant plain: craters were scattered everywhere like scars from previous destruction. An immense guillotine blade of light streaked across the coal-black sky, illuminating it with a stark beige-darkness. A velocity exceptionally powerful, consolidated two funnels of ascending sand as if a pair of gritty metal were attracted to a compelling magnet. It stood unhesitatingly, billowing like a possessed statue; it tore the thick, barbaric clouds like a shredded veil; it darkened the air with blazing clouds of dust. What action did we discharge to receive such punishment? Is this a sacred blessing from the heavens or a treacherous hazard, which Mother Nature has cast upon us? Anxiety…anxiety bubbled inside onlookers like an erupting volcano.

  15. Chills…chills rushed down the spines of the onlookers as the tornado draws closer and closer. Swerling in the movement of the wind. There was an old hut nit far by. The tornado crashing into it whilst would was flying by. Some people would have walked away others would be facinated by the sand monster.

  16. As the two funnels were descending and ascending towards each other, black menacing clouds levitated motionless, waiting for this pending disaster. The two funnels finally came closer and closer by the second until… There it stood, among the many waves of sand that were scattered aimlessly across this vast land. This ‘sand monster’ crawled across the dusty ground. The more it traveled, the more strength it would gain. In the distance was a small cabin awaiting its doom. Seconds later, the aged, rusty cabin was consumed by this tornado. Some say it is a harmless part of nature; others believe it is Mother Natures attack on earth. It was amazing how easy this monstrosity could rip apart a house but by no means is this as interesting as it seems. As the tornado devoured the house, the smell of gas lingered but the tornado did not…

  17. There it was. Below the earth’s surface, there was a tranquil, secluded plain; the sky full with malevolent clouds levitating above, waiting for Mother Nature to attack. Golden, caramel, beige sand dunes, like craters from the desolate, grey moon. The invincible, supreme tornado was gradually coming towards its minute victim: swirling like candy floss- but in reality there was nothing sweet about this. Chills…chills cascaded through the spines of the onlookers as they saw the future of this dramatic situation. Some people could see this as a dress in the summer sun; others could see the truth and mystery behind this menacing ‘creature’. As the atmosphere grew more tense, the tornado came closer…and closer towards the doomed building. With one meagre touch, the tornado had devoured the petite barn, demolishing it all. It had now been spat back out; the clatters and clangs of metal and wood could be heard a mile away. The smell of smoke lingered. But the tornado didn’t…

  18. The damage from the old wrinliky wood. How old is this wooden barn? But then out of nowhere came crashing down to the desert, where if looks like other tornadoes have striked. Why would Mother Nature punish us for nothing we have done(others asked)? Where as on the other hand people thought that it was just nature. The tornado was combing together and getting stronger by the second.

  19. The formation began. The parallel columns were created of a golden formed cloud with gust of brittle sand swirling around it, like two fists suddenly approaching each other with deadly visions. How immense would this one be? What more could Mother Nature do? The sky drew dark with shadows cascading among the blank plains of the desert, the smooth ground had became waves of sand dunes from recent storms. The clouds grew darker and darker, which made an absence of sunlight. Unfortunately, the columns combined and everything it its path was soon to be no more…

  20. Thick, black, dull, the clouds covered the plains of the empty desert. Two counterparts collided to become ‘one’. Furious clouds enveloped the barren, tranquil desert, concealing it selflessly from the view. The tornado destroyed everything in sight. It came in as slow as a snail. The tornado moved very sturdy. The more the sand… the more the strength. Out in the distance was its first victim. An old barn that lay there lonely. A sudden fright quivered through my body. It was as if everything is about to end. The tornado demolished the barn of spit out the pieces of wood one by one. It passed the barn leaving it blanketed with the sand. It was gone, to find its next victim…

  21. A dark,dull cloud gathered up in the sky.No sunlight was seen.Waves of sand layed gently on the ground. I looked like it already had been destroyed by asteroids (from space).There was no sound to be heard . Not even a clatter.With in seconds the wind got stronger and noise was heard. Metal crashing together,objects flying across like they were fevers.Suddenly two tornados merged together as though it was two fists crashing into each other.By the minute the power was dubbled and the strenth was stronger.He spotted his first victom…what has caused this ?

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