As Lila clambered into the boat, she saw what appeared to be the leader of the group and by far the most impressive. His crisp white shirt was a stark contrast to his ragged, tartan sarong. The sarong was like the train of a peacock’s feathers: bold, arrogant and sophicicated. Rambashi’s personality matched perfectly with the sarong, which manifested in the way he treated his crew.One could easily guess that all the money they made was dedicated to funding their captain’s shopping trips.I mean, his ostrich feathered turban, the latest from Turkey, was being flaunted to the poor, unfortunate crew. His stout, decorated hips held 3 types of swords: straight, curved and wavy. Captain Rambashi had one of those faces you want to desperately unsee, but remember forever. His eyebrows were like jungles, with gleaming eyes and a strand of hair underneath his thin lips.
Hi Elyon! Good to hear from you and GREAT to read your description!
I’m loving your use of commas to create clauses. You have some wonderful verbs which have really captured my attention too – flaunted, clambered and manifested are my favourites! I think you should paint a picture at home to complement your description! Beautiful!
Hello Mrs Henderson,I wrote a description of Rambashi and hope that you will like it.
Rambashi was a bad,mischievous pirate. He wore a black,green and red hat,light blue sweatpants and a creamy top.Also Rambashi has a thin yet wide mustache andand all sorts of knifes wavy,pointy and long (they are wooden in silver paper so he wont be able to do much damage).
Rambashi was a leader, but wasn’t always sure what he was doing and was not as confident as he made out to be. His followers were simple people, which made it easy for Rambashi to control. He was grizzly with a hairy face. He was loud and over powering, but with different ideas for business always changing shows he has more imagination than brains.
Rambashi was a born captain but he didn’t always act like that. At times he would be a controlling leader and mean sometimes. What made that easy for him was that his pirates didn’t want to let him down, so most of the time he would control them as if they were puppets. He wore a tattered, tartan sarong and he was possessing daggers. One of which was straight, the other one was curved and the final dagger was wavy. He also was as stout as a compressed tomato. Finally, he had a turban and underneath his turban covered a ostrich’s white, fuzzy and wooly.
Well done Dylan. Interesting and detailed sentences. I love how you chose to rehearse the last sentence! Great effort.
I can spot some lovely similes too – the one about the compressed tomato made me giggle!
Top Tip- Read your writing aloud to yourself or a friend (sister perhaps!) to check that the order and punctuation is correct. Just like you did with the last sentence!
There are several to choose from if you have a look on YouTube. Just go to Youtube, type in The Firework Maker’s Daughter Chapter 4 and you can pick one. You can also do this with the other chapters and find your favourite story-teller!
My five words this week are: spectacle, annoyance, sarong, pummelled and commotion.
Chulak’s annoyance was at his sarong because it kept slipping down and he was wanting to watch the spectacle of Rambashi’s fire. The crowd pummelled Rambashi with rotten bananas, this caused such a commotion.
My five new words are noble, pummelled, frivolous, mere and gingerly.
Hamlet the elephant was a noble beast. Unfortunately, he had been frivolously daubed with slogans. The people who wrote on him were lucky not to have been pummelled by the mighty creature. Hamlet gingerly walked around the ecstatic children. They seemed to be just mere insects to the huge elephant.🐘
My five words for this week are:
Daubed,frivolous,sarong,spectacle and shrubs.
A mysterious character daubed something on the Jungle Grill and the whole lot went up in flames.
The attitude of the people was frivolous after the Jungle Grill had burnt.
As Lila climbed the mountain,she noticed that no grass or shrubs could be seen.
A gust of wind made Lila feel cold so she wrapped her sarong around her shoulders.
As Lila reached the heart of the mountain,a gust of smoke came out.What a spectacle!
My five words this week- spectacle vanished flask summoning shimmering.
The lake was shimmering in the moonlight. Rambashi sat with his flask of rum, watching the spectacle of dancers and musicians. The music was so enchanting it began summoning crowds to come and listen to the sounds. In the distance the goddess watched, she then vanished before Rambashi’s eyes.
My five new words are,
Over the noise of the shouts and struggles there came a sound like a mighty trumpet and everyone fell still in fear. Chulak was frightened as well, though he knew what it was. for when Hamlet trumpeted it meant he had nearly lost his temper. Lila came over to see what all the commotion was about but then she realised she was walking into a dangerous situation as it was Chulak with a trumpet starting his apprenticeship.