Year 3 have been very busy crafting their own Revolting Rhymes in the style of Roald Dahl. We were especially aiming for strong verbs, some rhyming words and even the odd rhyming couplet. We hope you enjoy our twist on the nursery rhyme ‘Jack and Jill’ as we share a section of each of our poems…
Hello Today I was doing a JACK AND JILL POEM and I want to share some of it.
Once upon a time, a long long while ago,
There’s a magical well, I’m sure you’d like to know,
They were racing up the tremendous hill,
Jack was running in front of Jill,
They were arguing what their using it for,
JACK AND JILL JUST RUDELY IGNORED,
They sat side by side mumbling,
That they shouldn’t be siblings,
Jill stood in front of Jack,
Right behind his dirty back,
Jill pushed Jack off the very tip,
That he almost broke his worthy hip,
Once upon a time a long while ago.
Theres a magical well. I’m sure you’d like to know
The tale of the naughty girl and boy who learned they shouldn’t annoy,
the troublesome greedy siblings, Jack and Jill
and how they lost their luck on a very steep hill!
That fateful day their luck ran out.
I’ll tell you readers what it was all about………………
Once upon a time a long long while ago,
There was a magic well I’m sure you’d like to know
What happened to the sibling Jack and Jill
when they went up that terribly, stinky, tall and long hill.
the story goes that Wizards built that magical well!
And the water inside it was under a evil spell the Wizards made.
If you take a cool long drink from it you will feel cool and lucky everyday!
That Identical day, there luck ran out and they felt as if they were being tortured by an evil Wizard and an evil Witch!
Some fabulous ‘revolting rhymes’ so far Year 3. We had good fun coming up with these ideas, it’s lovely to see what you’ve created! Keep sharing your work…
Once upon a time, a long, long while ago,
There was a magical well, I’m sure you’d like to to know,
There was a tale about a greedy girl and boy
who learned to not annoy,
Their names were Jack and Jill,
and they found a well on top of a grassy hill,
That unlucky day, the naughty siblings Jack and Jill
stole themselves a golden bucket and went up that steep little hill.
they were determined to get more than a sip
so they filled the bucket up to the tip
On the way back down they began to quarrel,
Here dear reader, we come to the crazy moral,
Jack wanted to drink it all
Whilst Jill wanted to sell it by the city hall!
They pushed and shoved, and then some more
Until Jack rolled quietly to the muddy floor,
He crashed and tumbled over, spinning all around
banging his head on the hard, mucky ground
I’m sorry dear readers but this story ends in sadly ever after.
One day Jack went up the steep hill
He took his sister Jill.
It was a bit of a challenge for them two,
as they put on their brand new shoes.
The story goes that very evil Wizard build the well
And by drinking water from inside, you will be able to cast one spell.
They were almost on the top of the mucky hill,
When clumsy sibling Jill slid on wet grassy grassy grass.
I really like the poem, especially the last sentence
Once upon a time, in a wonderful Spring;
Jack and Jill were very greedy siblings.
Santa built a magical well,
Which people were not allowed to sell.
Jack and Jill saw the steep hill,
Jack and Jill wanted to fill;
They wanted to fill the bucket with water,
Not just a little, tiny quarter…
I like your poem so much Alexander. I love how you said “Santa built a magical well, which people were not allowed to sell”. It is a very good poem and it rhymes very well.
Once upon a time, a long, long while ago,
There was a magical well, I’m sure you’d like to know,
The tale of the naughty girl and boy,
Who learned they shouldn’t annoy,
The troll who lived atop the hill.
He pushed Jack down and made him ill. Per haps in future Jill will recall to prevent another nasty fall.
Fantastic efforts everyone – I’m sure everyone will enjoy reading your twisted tales 🙂
Mrs Byrne
Once upon a long time ago,
There was a famous magical well.
I think you’ll love to know they went up a hill that had magical waters.
They were two siblings who were very naughty.
One day they went up the hill to get the magical water.
Jack pushed Jill, they started to fight into the night.
Once upon a time a long while ago,
there was a magical well.
I’m sure you’d like to know,
what happened to the siblings Jack and Jill,
when they went up the big grassy hill.
The story goes that 100 red elves built that very special well.
The water inside there was very magical,
if you would drink it then you would be brave and beautiful,
and you would be able to do everything and be happy.
Once upon a time long long long ago,
There was a magical well,
I’m sure you’d like to know,
The mischievous siblings Jack and Jill,
They went up up the magical hill.
Once upon a time a long time ago,
There was a magic well I’m sure you’d like to know
What happened to these little kids
These kids are very mischievous their names are Jack and Jill
I hope you want to know what happened to them
One day Jack and Jill went up a very high hill
It was a special hill built by fairies
Once upon a time, a long while ago
There was a magical well, im sure you’d like to know
A boy and a girl were travelling up a hill
because they had a bucket to fill
the boy he fell
the girl could tell
she heard a massive bump
the boy had a huge lump
the girl she was a baker
she had some grease proof paper
she’d make the paper vinegery
to fix the poor boy’s ingry.
I like your rhyme.
Revolting Rhymes: Jack and Jill
Once upon a time ,a long long time ago
There was a magical well
I’m sure you’d like to know what happened to the annoying siblings called Jack and Jill
And how they lost their luck on a very steep hill!
The story goes on that elves built the well, And the water in it was under a curse.
If you had a drink from it you’d have good luck for the rest of your days!
Well maybe except for the odd Wednesday!
Determined to get just more than a sip they stole a silver bucket and filled it to it’s tip
Oh they were so pleased with themselves.
I like the part when you put annoying siblings.
I liked when we said Here, Dear Reader, we come to the moral. because we are telling the Reader what happened to Jack when he tumbled down the hill.
Once upon a time a long long while ago there was a magical well,
I’m sure you’d like to know when Jack and Jill went up the hill.
Jack and Jill climbed the hill to fetch some fresh water
but suddenly jack fell over and banged his head on the hard ground
and Jill was tumbling after him.
They both fell into the disgusting mud.
Once upon a time,a long while ago.
There was a magical well,
I sure you did like to know.
The tale of the naughty girl and boy went up the hill.
The boy and girl fell over the hill.
The mud was really bad.
The boy and girl fell into the bad mud.
If you took a cool drink of the Water,
You’d feel amazing for more than a bit,
You will have good future for the rest of your days,
Well, except for the odd Wednesdays!
Hello I would like to share some of my Jack and Jill poem
Once upon a time, a long, long while ago,
There was a special well I’m sure you’d love to know,
That Jack and Jill went up that rocky hill,
Then Jack came racing in front of Jill,
When they got up that steep hill,
Then they saw the magical well,
They realised it was casting a spell,
So the quickly sprinted down,
Jack fell down,
Jill tumbled down,
Jill was fine Jack was not,
When Jack fell down and broke his crown,
Jack had to go to bed because he hurt his head,
Jack felt bad,
Jill felt sad.
So they quickly sprinted down
Evie I like yours because it rhymes.
Excellent work Year 3, I am so proud of all you and your hard work! 🙂
Once apon a time,long,long while ago,
there was a magical well built by special elves.
And two people goes up the hill
and took some water from the sorowful elves.
Those peoples names were Jack and Jill.
Their mum said not to steal
but they still took it for their meal.
Once upon a time ,a long, long while ago.
There was a magical well, I`m sure you`d like to know ,
What happend to the sibling Jack and Jill,
when they went up that trbs hill.
The story goes that elves built that special well.
And the water in side under a magical spell.
Here, dear reader, we come to the moral,
Jack wanted to have it all to himself,
Whilst Jill wanted to sell the cursed magnificent well,
They were naughty and bad,
Until, Jack violently fell to the hard grassy floor,
He crashed, toppled over spinning all around,
Until, he ran home and put vinegar and brown paper,
He lay in his bed and had a lay down so he’s better,
But possibly had a head ache all day long,
And Here, dear reader, we finish.
I like your rhyme.
Revolting Rhymes : Jack and Jill
Once upon a time, a long, long while ago,
there was a magical well, I’m sure you’d like to know,
What happened to the famous boy and girl.
One day Jack and Jill went up the steep hill
To fetch some water from the well.
On the way to the well, they saw a pig in a wig.
They put the wig in the and they went up the steep hill again.
Jack and Jill took the whole day to fetch the magical water from the well.