I can tell from your own poem that you really understood the ‘story’ in ‘The Dreadful Menace’! You’ve used some incredible personification and alliteration. I really like your choice of the words ‘surrender’ and ‘awakening’.
You’ve done a fantastic job!
Miss Lee 🙂
Wow Leila! Your poem depicts the volcano as a true threat! I love how you’ve used ‘fear’ as a metaphor, and you’ve really made use of the word bank, especially the ‘toxic as poison’ simile. Superb use of strong language such as ‘commence’ and ‘enigma’, and ‘No fear of failure’ is a great line!
Incredible poetry effort! Well done!
Amazing Ava! Your poetic description of a volcano makes it sound monstrous! You’ve used some superb similes (as hot as the sun) and some strong language: spew, molten, unbearable, hurtle.
You’ve used some great personification strategies to: remorse, dancing, control.
Fantastic poetry! Well done!
P.S. Mrs Shakh will send your Mathletics login over 🙂
Well done, Aiden! Your language is very impressive: foresee, anguish, civilisations.
Your use of poetic features paints an image of a truly ‘dreadful menace’.
I love the fact that you’ve used some technical vocabulary too, from your geography learning e.g. core.
A very exciting poem! Well done!
Your rhyme throughout works perfectly! Your rhetorical questions really help the audience to understand what your ‘Mighty Mountain’ is thinking, and they create superb personification too. I really like the alliteration: scared and scattered and your simile that describes the flow of the lava.
Well done – you are a poet!
A great effort, Xander! You have magpied some excellent poetic features and adapted them to make them your own. Your personification of the volcano is really good – you give it terrifying human abilities, almost like it’s a living monster! Comparing an eruption to a ‘game’ in the eyes of this ‘monster’ is an impressive metaphor!
I can see you have used rhyming couplets – I wonder if you can work out how this rhyme schema is different to the original one used in ‘The Dreadful Menace’?
Well done again!
A great poetry attempt! Your first stanza is especially impressive – ‘spectral’ and ‘capitulate’ are very figurative word choices that hint at the ‘personality’ of this volcano. I really like the verb ‘vanquished’ and abstract noun ‘wrath’ too.
Take a look at your second stanza – does it refer to a volcano, or is it more suited to a tornado?
A super effort!
Well done! What an impactful first line: The gates of hell! Your figurative language is very effective: blazing heat; dreadful mark; memories fade.
I also really like the alliteration: molten magma, fuming flames.
Could you describe the colour of orange in your third stanza using a comparison device (simile or metaphor)?
A great poetry effort!
Hello Ileana! It’s lovely to hear from you 🙂
Wow! Your poem shows a lot of flair – I can tell the volcano subject has grabbed your attention!
Superb personification and metaphor – these devices really paint the volcano as a living, breathing, dangerous being.
I love the adjective ‘raging’ and your magma simile as well as the ‘chill upon your bones’ description.
A great poetry attempt! ‘The eerie tingle down your spine’ is a very figurative description of feelings. Your ambitious word choices ‘underestimate’, ‘assemble’ and ‘deteriorate’ are very effective.
You make the volcano sound terrifying!
When you re-read, try to spot where some of the grammar might need tweaking:-)
This is a great poem! Your alliteration is very effective throughout. I can see you’ve definitely pushed to the best language: envelopes, prompt, menacing.
Your similes have a very good impact, painting the picture for the reader; your metaphor of the volcano as a ‘threat’ or ‘killing machine’ really adds to the feeling of risk.
A good effort! Your use of adjectives and setting descriptions paint the picture of what it might be like to see a volcano. Your similes ‘like a scar’; ‘like a lighthouse’; and ‘like a red river’ are very effective, as is your metaphor that compares the volcano to a ‘beast’!
I see you’ve used rhyming couplets – how is this structure different to ‘The Dreadful Menace’ poem’s structure?
Well done on your poetry attempt! You’ve tried really hard to rhyme it – a great go! And the volcano is personified really well in your poem. You describe how it ‘summons’, ‘envies’ and ‘snatches’. I think the metaphor of ‘darkness’ sums up the volcano’s personality really well!
Check your use of ‘living’ as a noun – what else could be used instead? And when you re-read, where are some grammar tweaks needed?
You did brilliantly!
What a great poem! Your metaphor (angry mountain) and similes (blasts lava like a bomb; ashes as toxic as poison) are very effective.
Your personification of the volcano is really good too: dancing flames, monster’s mouth.
I’m also impressed you’ve attempted some rhyme in stanzas two and four. These are rhyming couplets. What rhyme schema does the original poem use?